Hello? How’s it going? My name’s Ron? I am going to teach you about vocal tonality?
Sounded weird when you read that in your head, right? Yet so many people have fallen into the bad habit of using poor vocal tonality in their lives, and don’t even realize they’re doing it.
Man do I love teaching this concept. Why? Because it provides one of the quickest and most efficient fixes in communication there is to offer. A lot of self improvement takes time to produce reasonable results. Vocal tonality is something you can see almost instant results from, it’s more of a matter of habit. If you use incongruent vocal tonality, and you change it to be congruent with your actions/motives, you will soon see people react to you in a new light. People will listen to what you have to say. Girls will stop laughing when you ask for their number, your boss will actually consider your suggestions, and overall you will become a more effective communicator (that’s the goal here right?). Tired of people laughing at your attempts to be stern? Let’s fix that :).
All too often do I see my students and people in public use awful tonality. I cringe when I hear it, but not long ago I had no idea it existed, let alone that you can manipulate it to convince people more effectively. This a bit of a deeper concept, one that will allow you to “see the matrix” in a sense. It is a little known secret to people who have had to learn to communicate.. probably one of the quickest “game” fixes you can have to rapidly get results. Once you learn to control vocal tonality, you will gain so much in your interactions.
Sub Communication is the underlying meaning of what you are saying, it is communication that bypasses your “conscious/logical” part of the brain, and goes straight for the primal parts. It’s pretty powerful so be advised. Using your vocal tonality creates the opportunity for you to sub communicate things to someone else.
Onto the good stuff. Ever notice how people with low self esteem tend to end their sentences with a high pitch? Check out the image. Most people will be saying a statement, but their tonality curves upwards like the top line, when in fact it should be the lowest line and end in a downward tone.
Let’s say I am a manager, and I need my worker to complete a task. What if I go up and say “I need this done?” When you really mean “I need this done.. no ifs, ands, or buts”, but you end it in an upwards tone, the other person will unconsciously interpret this as it is questionable that it can be done or not, or there is no rush. The same goes for walking up to a cute girl and saying “Hey, I think you’re cute?” or “I like to play football?” Doesn’t that sound a bit… off?
Get into the habit of ending your sentences on a downward intonation. So when you make a statement, the last part of the sentence should end at a lower pitch. Try it with this sentence “I am now going to use proper tonality”.
You should have ended this sentence in a lower intonation than you began it, much like when reading this sentence.
So when speaking to a girl, and you want to tell her you are a mechanic, your dog is cross bred with a chicken, or what have you… you MUST use your downward intonation to convey you mean what you say, and you say what you mean.
If you are a newbie, here is a tip to get you started. End every single sentence with a downward intonation, even your questions. Get out of the habit of speaking in a high questionable tone, it’s killing your game man. For intermediates, when a girl is attempting to test you a lot, is cold, or various other obstacles to get over, use downward tone to convey you are not very invested, nor do you care what her reply is. For the advanced guys you more than likely have this down already, but when you begin to be able to read a girl’s status (when you become advanced reading status and adjusting to this is key, and will come with time) and she is of a lower status/shy girl/etc, use a more supplicative higher tone when asking questions.